those ludicrous impulses…

This morning, I was perusing through my email and came across one from Hay House publishers….  you see, as many of you know, I recently signed up to submit book reviews for them, and in return, I get free books.  Well, evidently, that’s not all I get….  I also get an invitation to enter a contest– one in which the winner receives a publishing contract.

However, this contest is not just press a button and you’re entered to win.  You gotta actually be a writer. And the catch?   I have to submit a COMPLETE manuscript (in other words, my book must be finished) by September 27th.

Yes, that’s NINE weeks away.  Currently, I have three, almost four chapters completed, and anticipate it being anywhere from eight to twelve chapters when all is said and done.  Not only that, but my kids are still home for three and a half more weeks of summer, my parents are about to visit for a week, and it’s also time to start putting together materials for my 2013 circles.

I almost trashed the email, but something tugged at me.  I couldn’t let it go.  I called up Deena to ask if she thought I was crazy to even consider such a thing. She, of course, said all amazing things… like she’d support me through the crunched and crazy and scary moments, and would take up the slack with the kids and the house, especially on the weekends, so that I could have plenty of writing time.  How did I ever get so lucky?

I found myself clicking the registration button before I had any chance to really think about it.  I figured I’ve been bitten by utter insanity or divine inspiration.  Probably both.

And now…  one minute, I’m swept away by giggles and excitement…   the next, I’m absolutely terrified and tense and yelling at myself for spilling a container of cottage cheese.  If someone were to witness me throughout my day today, they would probably think I’d gone completely bonkers.

Funny thing is, I wouldn’t change a thing.

This is akin to signing up for and training for a triathlon when I had only WALKED a couple of 5Ks, and less than a year before, was considered morbidly obese.   Irrational, loopy, absurd, cockamamie, nutty, even irresponsible in a way.

But we all know how that turned out.  In some strange and mysterious way, cockamamie turned into courageous.  And I stunned myself by doing it and actually succeeding with flying colors.

Yes, there are likely thousands of people setting out to do the same thing.  Better writers…  more compelling subjects…

But whether or not anything ever comes of this, I might just discover some things about myself in this off-the-wall adventure.

And yes, the reality of such an enormous push is that I won’t be submitting my most perfect work…

But the effort in itself makes it FAR from mediocre, atleast in my eyes.  This is a S-T-R-E-T-C-H for me. It’s not meant to be a masterpiece–  it’s meant to be an experiment in trust and moxie.

And yes, the truth is, I might not even get it done.  I might be biting off WAY more than I can chew…

But even if I don’t finish in time, I’ll certainly be a whole lot closer, and I’ll have proven to myself once again that I can do more than I tend to give myself credit for.

You never know what you are capable of until you dare to take the risk in trying.  Follow the crumbs of your most ludicrous impulses…  and you might just find some WILD.   

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