a declaration of self-honor
- “Midwinter Firethorn” by Lisa J. Rough
In settling in after an early morning at the gym, I’m realizing just how much my little self-care routines help me to stay inspired and pumped for my work. Gone are the days of the stagnant waiting around for something to happen. Gone are the days of working so tediously hard that I don’t stop to eat or even go to the bathroom. Gone are the days of thinking that if I spent my energy on a sweaty workout or on a cozy much-needed nap, I wouldn’t have enough time or energy for anything else.
All of these things once propelled me into an endless cycle of trying until I had nothing left in me, to feeling less than adequate to hold my own visions, to being obsessed with what I thought was success.
But no more.
This body of mine is the vehicle for every small dream and every huge imagining I have within me. If I don’t take care of it, it breaks down… and then the only choice is to wait alongside of the road for a tow. Every ounce of energy is spent on fixing something that never needed to be broken to begin with… and dreams and imaginings, they become glorified hobbies, granted our love and honor only after everything else is taken care of (which is when, exactly?).
But when I DO take care of this body, the unexpected happens. Instead of feeling more crunched for time or more exhausted, I feel like hollering, “Okay, universe… bring it on! I am ready!” There are reserves of energy there that I had no idea existed before. Ideas and insights flow in out of nowhere. And I fall into a natural rhythm in my life that isn’t forced or born out of desperation or obsession, and one that honors the pace and sacred timing of my visions and enables me to be present with what’s in front of me. And I enjoy the ride soooo much more when I’m not rushing about, trying to get somewhere (anywhere) fast.
What does self-honor look like for you?
As the days become shorter and darker, it might be that urge to hibernate in your pajamas with a cup of soup in hand. Or perhaps it’s an invigorating walk in the woods, or lifting weights at the gym, or twisting your limbs into unimaginable poses. It might be having tea with a friend. It may be letting some things go off of your should-get-done-before-January-1st list. It might be staring at a wall and completely spacing out.
Whatever it is… make it a part of every.single.day. Make it a part of your work, your family, your holy and wild imaginings, your swiftly approaching holiday shenanigans. I know… you could come up with a bazillion reasons not to (believe me, I’ve used them myself). But what you hand out to your family, your work, your commitments, your dreams is only as good as what you give to yourself.
Now, if you didn’t get that the first time, go back and read it again. Allow it to sink in. And by all means, if you catch me in a frazzled state throwing my arms up in the air (afterall, I’m human)– please, please remind me of these words.
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Oh what I needed to hear as I sat in front of the computer for the 3rd hour of the morning.
So I got up and got my snack – not healthy but not bad, fulfilling me more in childish whimsy than anything. I checked (while it was heating up) to make sure our DVR is still working and caught the ABC morning show talking about the proposed National Cell Phone Ban. I wasn’t really listening and went to turn it off hearing the last words of one of the anchors:
“How much time are you gonna gain if you are dead?”
(“So just in case you didn’t get it through Lisa’s post Jennifer, I’m going to bombard you with it until you GET IT!!!”)
It’s the truth and I’m finding at the end of the year I’m realizing how much I wasn’t at the helm of my life this past year and don’t want to make the same mistake again. It is those little things (the 20 minute morning run, the break for a piece of a bread, listening to my favorite music) that make those larger decisions for myself easier.