listen to what is…
This morning I got my bike out... dusted off the cobwebs.. and took a ride around the neighborhood....
“Every particle of creation sings its own song of what is and what is not. Hearing what is can make you wise; hearing what is not can drive you mad.”
~Mirza Ghalib
A couple of days ago, I signed up for a triathalon. A TRIATHALON, people.
As you can see, I’m still wrapping my head around this…
Yesterday I asked someone who had done it before what it was like. “The swimming part was the closest to death I’ve ever felt,” she replied. Of course she said this before she knew I had signed up the day before, and with no further complaining, she spent the next hour or so telling me I had this thing beat. My first twenty or so thoughts were “yeah right.”
And yet, I still want to do it.
It could be because I am surrounded by a community of women who believe in me, who double dare me, who hold me up when I’m having one of those days when I want to hide beneath a pile of blankets and eat oreos, who remind me all the time that possibility has no fancy finish line where we can call it a day and claim that we’re done.
It might be because for the first time in many many years, I went to get my yearly check-up at the doctor, and instead of being told that I must lose weight, eat more of this and less of that, or possibly have my gall bladder yanked out, I was told that I was GLOWING.
Or I might just be completely insane. Of course, I prefer to call it wild, uncontained, courageous, INSPIRED, passionate, tenacious, colorful, ferocious, and perhaps a little over the top.
Regardless, a week after my 42nd birthday this May, I’ll be doing it. Swimming 1/3 of a mile, then biking 19 miles, then running (or walking) another 3 miles, at the wee hours of a Sunday morning in Georgia.
For me, this will require a lot of training… not just physically, but mentally, and even spiritually.
You see, like so many others, I’ve used up a lot of energy over the course of my life arguing for my self-imposed limitations, defending those voices that say, “I can’t,” rationalizing the need to stay small and safe, allowing others to define success for me and then feeling like I could never ever live up to their expectations (perhaps in retrospect, I just never WANTED to).
I’ve come a long way, but I’m still a work in progress. I still have momentarily lapses of what-the-hell-am-I-thinking, and digging for excuses to turn back.
Don’t we all?
But sometimes it takes a giant leap of imagination to get you to where you want to be. Sometimes it takes letting go of all of those past stories of snags and hurdles and a willingness to create new legends that open you up to what you once deemed far-fetched and absurd. And sometimes it takes trusting in a bit of mystery and magic and COMMUNITY to hoist you up and carry you through.
Sometimes it’s very simply about choosing to listen to what is… and not to what is not.
So today, I invite you stretch your mind. Boggle your heart. Be impulsive, unpredictable, and break your own rules. Imagine BIG. And then… begin.
Categories: stretch of the imagination | 
Tags: action, bicycles, thought | 
8 Comments »
Your mama says go for it. She just doesn’t want to hear about bungee jumping, sky diving or racing motorcycles.
no worries there, ma.
Amazing! You are truly an inspiration as I struggle with finding my body’s natural strength, shape, health and balance. I look forward to hearing about the training process, too, as that will be as important as the actual event. Cheers and love to you!!!
I did this for myself back in 2010 – It was 2.5 laps of the pool (couldn’t tell you the real distance), 10 miles on bike and a 3 mile run. You will be able to do it – I was shocked that I had even signed up, paid for training and then did it (without pain or terror). It was a ripple of shock in my life that I know has kept me fighting for me – sometimes that voice is scary but it’s nice that it won’t let you back down. You have immense power.
Thank you Mary Gordon! We need to skype again soon! I would love to hear how your process is going!!! Much love!
Yes, Jennifer, I understand that shock. I’m still not able to quite comprehend what I just signed myself up for! Thank you for reminding me of my own unshakable power….
What a great post – and even better, your Mom’s response (which made me laugh since I have a son who has bungie jumped and sky dived and didn’t tell me til afterwards for obvious reasons). I have to share this whole post over on FB and highlight this paragraph: Or I might just be completely insane. Of course, I prefer to call it wild, uncontained, courageous, INSPIRED, passionate, tenacious, colorful, ferocious, and perhaps a little over the top.
That is one awesome paragraph. In fact, may I use it with attribution over on my WW page?
Absolutely, Tammy! Thank you! And thanks also for stopping by… your presence is a true delight.