Creativity= re-writing your story.

We all have stories that we cling to like Velcro.

My son came home from school the other day, and heartily proclaimed, “I am having such a bad, bad day.”  Yes, we all have days that are challenging, but this wasn’t so unusual for my son at the time.  He was stuck.  Every day, he would tell the same story, like a broken record, about how terribly hard his life is.

Now, I may be biased…  but I think my son has it pretty good.  My partner and I spoil him rotten most of the time…   his is adored by his friends and teachers, and his sister thinks the world of him… his room is filled with toys overflowing out of toyboxes, and despite what he might say, I do NOT deprive him of chocolate.

So having had enough of this dramatic antics, I sat him down and asked him to draw a picture of how he’d like his life to be.  The picture was of him and his entire family, including the dog and the cats, and even the fish.  Everyone was smiling, and there were hearts floating around in the empty spaces.   There was a sunshine in the corner, and trees, and a sweet little house with a chimney.  When he was finished, he looked at me with an unforgettable sweetness and said, “Mommy, I am so lucky.”

In that moment, I was reminded how I’ve worn my own stories as if they were clothing that‘s gone out of style.  The shy and timid little girl, the woman who is not deserving of love and is afraid to succeed… we all have them.  Some are worse than others, but we’ve all at one time or another played the victim of unfortunate circumstances, whether it’s simply a string of bad days, or a something far more tragic.

What if I told you that you could re-write your stories?

One of my clients was in a abusive relationship for five years before finally getting up the courage to leave…  Years later, she still found herself feeling lost and disempowered, and instead of focusing on what tremendous strength it required to let go of her situation, she still punished herself for being there in the first place, and felt unworthy of opening her heart to new relationships.   Only recently has she begun to realize how this story has kept her from believing in herself… only recently has she begun to celebrate the HUGE step forward she made in her life, one toward a sense of joy that was unrecognizable at the time.

We can’t completely erase the past….  but we CAN reclaim our future.  We can’t necessarily abandon our stories altogether, but we CAN re-write them…

IMAGINE that this very moment is the beginning.  Once upon a time…. how would your story go from here on out?  What would you like your life to look like?  How do you want to feel?  What would you like to be doing?   You may want to literally write it in your journal, or draw a picture like Noah did, or make a dreamweel or visionboard…

STOP WAITING for the rest of the world to support you or provide you with some kind of conclusion.   ONCE upon a time means that we’ll never have this moment again, and the one gift of tragedy is the realization that it could all be snatched away from us any minute.  Savor this delicious moment, for it is truly all that there is.

ALLOW FORGIVENESS to creep in and let go of blame and self-hatred, burning them or burying them symbolically in the ground if you have to.   Give yourself permission to move on.  Stop using your grievances as excuses to hide away and be small in the world.  Your passions have so much to offer!

CELEBRATE the amazing person that you are.  Part of re-writing our stories is allowing them to breathe life into us in a different way.  Rather than being a victim, celebrate what it has taken you to overcome your obstacles, to walk away from an abusive relationship, to become sober, to become an adult in the presence of your parents, to dare to succeed, to pick up the pieces after it feels as though your life has fallen apart.

MAKE A CHOICE to live with palms open, rather than closed.  Move forward out of love rather than fear; out of the abundance of possibility rather than what might be missing.

Write as you go.

Remember.  You don’t have to have it all planned out.  You don’t have to have a map or an agenda.

You can build the plane as you fly it.

Just simply take a step toward a new chapter.

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