Creativity= getting down to the bones.

When I was a kid,  I refused to let my dad teach me how to tie my shoes.  I also pissed off my piano teacher because I wanted to play the songs that I composed myself instead of spending our time on Mozart and Bach.  Perhaps it’s the stubborn Taurus that I am, or maybe it’s because I’m a 9 on the Enneagram…  whatever the case, I’ve always been determined to learn things myself without any help, and I can be ferociously independent to a fault when it comes to my career path, my dreams, and even my health.

For quite some time now, I’ve been struggling with what I self-diagnosed as plantar fasciitis in my left foot.  I’ve been sleeping with an uncomfortable brace on my foot that stretches the tendons, and icing my foot every time I so much as walk down the street.   I traded in my much loved hiking boots for swimming goggles and a cheap elliptical machine, and blamed it on my weight and years of ballet en pointe when I was younger.  So when a chiropractor told me last week after looking at some xrays of my spine that my hips were severely twisted due to a fall twelve years ago, making my left leg almost two inches longer than my right and most likely being the culprit of my foot pain, I just about fainted.

After one adjustment, the pain was significantly better.  It made me smile and want to hit the trails!

There was a catch though.  Because of the severity of this twist in my hips, he recommended that I begin a regimen of multiple rehabilitative treatments that would span over the course of three months, after which the foot pain would most likely be erradicated and I’d be able to move my dream of hiking bits and pieces of the Appalacian Trail with my family closer to the top of my list.   However, there were no absolute guarantees. I was sent home to stew on this treatment proposal and the hefty estimate of what it would cost me.  To be honest, I felt emotional and somewhat defeated, simply because I was faced with an uncomfortable choice…   it felt too much like a splurge, one that would mean sacrificing other things that my family and I wanted, and one that I wasn’t sure was really THAT important.  And with this, came the skepticism…  would it even work?  And could I somehow fix this myself?

You see, I’m much better at giving than receiving.  Most of us are, if you think about it.  We often barricade the act of receiving for fear of being thought of as too needy, spoiled, selfish.  Rather than asking for what we need, we often moan and groan and complain about how we can’t do this, or we can’t have that.   We argue for our limitations, and tell ourselves we’re stuck.  Perhaps we’re afraid that when we receive something, we’re taking something away from someone else-  as a mom, I’m quite familiar with that one.  Or we get overly stubborn and rely only on ourselves because we don’t feel worthy or deserving of another’s help, or we don’t feel as though we have the time to even ask.

While receiving guidance when it comes to our health really is an essential investment, how many of us put it at the bottom of the list of our priorities? How many months or years has it been since you’ve been to the dentist, unless there was a problem?  How often do you give your body the pleasure of a massage or facial?  And what about the other areas in your life?  Your desires?  Your silent and undisclosed dreams?  Do you allow others to support your purpose, down to the nitty gritty, down the bones of who you are?  Do you ask for the time to delve into possibilities, or for guidance into the unknown?

We can receive guidance and the gift of time and opportunity in a way that nourishes and empowers us, that gives us the momentum to step forward and invest in ourselves, financially, mentally, physically, and spiritually, without fear and without second-guessing our actions.  It’s about making the choice.  It’s about inviting in life with hands and arms open, finding mentors and teachers, even in the eyes of strangers.

The fact is, I can’t fix my own hips/feet.  I need help.  I’m still exploring the price I’d pay for asking more questions and exploring other options, for offering him a piece of artwork in trade, for getting a second opinion or for saying what the hell and  jumping on board…. but what I have realized is that the world is my teacher and there is much to learn, and that I can ask for help without feeling like a failure.   One thing I am certain of is that I’m choosing to ask for guidance …

AND that I am worth putting myself at the top of the list.

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{Don’t miss out on the outrageous once-in-a-lifetime “Guinea Pig Special” for my upcoming retreat!  Do you need to to relax, eat healthy food,  and get clear and inspired in the company of  like-hearted women?  Check it out!}

Categories: Creativity, Health, Living Mindfully, Uncategorized, life purpose   |   Tags: Creativity, Health, Lisa Rough, trust  |  6 Comments »

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